But really, at the beginning of my mission I really could not even imagine myself in the last week of my mission. The days have very truly flown by! And I'm very grateful for every one of them. I may have not been thankful for them in the moment, but I sure am thankful for them now. They have made me into who I am. To tell you the truth, I feel like I'm not that different than I was before. Maybe it's just cause that was a long time go and I can't remember, but I think that it is because we don't change overnight. When I went into the MTC I was kind of shocked that we (missionaries) were just kind of still a bunch of high school students, just very reverent. I kind of just expected that once I was set apart that I would be a different person. That was not the case. I've spent the last couple weeks debating with myself if I've actually accomplished anything here. Why Heavenly Father sent me here. I've come to the conclusion that I needed this. The Lord could have done this work that I did here in Germany with any other person. But He chose me to do it because I needed it.
I have in fact made progress, it's just a little hard to see because I haven't been able to apply what I have learned into real daily life situations. I also have realized that I haven't just gone up in a straight and steady line of progression. I started at ground zero and progressed and plateaued and did it over and over and over again. When you’re on those plateaus it's a little hard to realize the true height you've reached. My goal these past 6 weeks was to make myself end my mission on a hill. I did NOT want to come home on a plateau. No way. And I think that I'm going to do it. Pushing yourself is always the hardest part. But I did it! I've been pushing myself, and Heavenly Father has been pushing me in ways that I didn't really expect. I found weaknesses that I've had my whole mission, but didn't realize them til now. It's just a real testimony to me that a mission is not going to be the only place or time in my life that will grow. Life goes on, and days will go by.
This week was crazy busy but we only taught s total of 2 lessons. We went to Berlin for a few conferences and went on austausch with STLT's. I got to work with Sister Sorensen for a day here in Hamburg and it was just like old times! I even got to eat pancakes at Brother Stephens’s house for the last time!
General conference has been great! I have seen everything but the Sunday afternoon! I will most likely see that next Sunday! I’m not in denial about coming home anymore, it will be very bitter sweet! But there is a time and a purpose to everything under the heavens and I guess that it's just my time to come home and apply what I've learned. We like to quote a saying here as missionaries (especially cause we are in Germany) that "the most important conversion on your mission is you!" I feel that I've truly accomplished this. Helaman 5:12 my foundation for my life is built on Jesus Christ and that's how it should be. I've learned to put my trust in him, to recognize and follow spiritual promptings immediately. This is my last and final testimony.... that He lives!
Liebe Grüße, Sister St. John
Conferences in Berlin
General Women's meeting...in English
Brother Stephens...we ate ALL those pancakes!
